This has been a really crappy week. Everybody is sick. It started with Molly. Three days of excruciating ear pain. About the time she got better, I started feeling bad. It was a cough. Then it was a runny nose. Then my chest started making a noise like crumpling paper. I figured it was time to go to the doctor.
The diagnosis? Sinus infection. Ear infection. Bronchitis. The cure? A shot of steroids in the place they always give you a shot (man, did that burn!), some heavy-duty cough medicine, and a round of strong antibiotics. On a happier note, I got stronger meds for my back pain. Woo-hoo.
I left the doctor’s office and got a phone call from daycare. Anna woke up from nap with her eye glued shut. Pink eye. Fabulous. I mean, what’s better than a highly infectious condition in a two-year-old who sucks her finger, touches everything, and gives kisses all day long?
Then, I go to pick up the other kids. The oldest, Aidan, has a sore throat, is exhausted, and obviously has a fever. Great. Strep throat.
I took Aidan and Anna to the doctor. Anna has an ear infection, a sinus infection, and conjunctivitis in both eyes. Her whole face is oozing green junk I have to wipe off every five minutes. Her eyes are swollen and have dark circles under them. She looks like she went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. And, even better, she’s one of those kids who get hyper on Benadryl. When she’s hyper, she’s sassy and LOUD. I was unsticking her eyes this morning and she actually said to me:
and dismissed me with a flick of her hand.
Later in the day, I heard her screaming in the back of the house. I called her name and asked her what was wrong. She answered simply, “I’m screaming.” Oh, okay. I guess it’s good to practice screaming on the off-chance she might one day be chased down by an undead boy from Camp Crystal Lake who wears a hockey mask.
As for Aidan, he doesn’t have strep. He most likely has mono. He wasn’t happy with the diagnosis. For starters, that throat swab freaks him out and it was pointless. On top of that, I had to ask him who he’s been kissing. Of course, I HAD to ask him that. I’m his mother and it’s my job to embarrass him. It worked. He gave me a dirty look.
Anyway, there’s nothing you can do about mono. He’s going to feel like garbage for the next few weeks and all I can offer him is ibuprofen. He’s done nothing but sleep for two days and barely had the energy to walk around the grocery store when we went to get Anna’s medication. He said it feels like a ball is stuck in his throat. I’m guessing that’s the swollen glands? I’m not sure. All I know is I can’t do a thing for him. That sucks.
The other two kids have a slight cough. I’m hoping and praying it stays that way. If they get something else, there’s a good chance they’ll give it back to Molly and the merry-go-round of sickness will continue on its merry way.
On top of all that, we had 4 lost teeth this week. Billy lost two in one day. Then, on the day I went to the doctor, Aidan showed signs of strep that wasn’t strep but mono, and Anna got pink eye, Molly lost one at school in her deli sandwich. Later, Mikey nonchalantly pulled a tooth out while sitting in a frozen yogurt store, waiting for me to pick them up after I went to the doctor, and put it on the table. I saw it on the table when I got there and made him wrap it in a napkin, which he threw away with his empty yogurt cup.
What with being sick myself and tired from fried chicken day at work (don’t ask, just know it’s AWFUL), the conjunctivitis, and the strep that was really mono, the exhausted Tooth Fairy completely forgot her duty. I had to make up a lame excuse for the thoughtless pixie, which my naïve and trusting daughter readily believed, thank God, and then look in the couches and coat pockets to find a stinking dollar to put under her pillow.
So, that’s it. My week in a very confusing, meandering, and, I’m sure, nonsensical blog post. And it’s only Friday night and there’s a three-day weekend. Wonder what will happen next?