The Blog is Out of the Bag

“I read some of your blog.”

Those are the words I’ve been dreading since my first day at work.  It took 5 months, but today was the day.  I suspect they (my co-workers) knew I had a blog a long time ago.  After all, we’re friends on Facebook.  Talk about a dilemma.  When the friend requests came, I immediately thought:

“Oh no.  I like these people but if I accept their friend requests, they’ll know I have a blog.  Not to mention the fact that I post a lot on the old Facebook and I tend to be really annoying and dorky.  Not good.  On the other hand, if I ignore or decline the request, that won’t make for a very comfortable work environment.”

I accepted, of course.  Like I said, these ladies are great.  Since we’ve become friends, nobody has mentioned the blog at all.  Maybe, by some miracle, they never saw the links to my blog posts.  Maybe they ignored it and never once clicked it.  Most likely, they clicked once, read, and decided never to click or mention it again. Either way, the subject of my blog never came up.

Until today.

“I read some of your blog.”

Deer In Headlights LookI got that deer in the headlights look, said “Oh,” shuffled my feet while avoiding eye contact, and then went on with my work.  I am the MASTER of awkward situations.  If by master, I mean the master of making awkward situations more awkward.  Also?  I’m obsessive about said awkward situations, spending the rest of the day wondering what I should have said and what I’m supposed to do in the future.

Like, should I just abandon the blog until summer, when I don’t have to look these women in the face 5 days a week?  Did I post anything really embarrassing that will haunt me for the next 4 months?  Which posts did she read?  Were they awful?  Okay?  Whiny? Too much information?  (Of course, they were. This is my blog.  That’s what I do!)

I’ve done this kind of obsessing before.  An uncle said, “I read your blog and it’s just not for me.”

“Which post did you read?” I asked, horrified.

He told me and it was a post specifically for other bloggers.  I have a few of those and it bothered me to no end that he chose THAT day to read.  It bothered me so much, in fact, that a month later (yes, a month) I sent him a message on Facebook.  I confessed my neurotic tendencies, my obsessiveness, and gave him a few links to posts I’m proud of.  He read them and sent me a message back.  He changed his mind.  He likes my blog, my writing, and me (despite my obvious mental illness.)  Yay!

Did it occur to me that he was just yanking my chain?  Stroking my fragile ego?  Blowing smoke up my butt?

Absolutely not.

Ahem.

Anyway.  So my not-so-secret secret is out.  I have a blog and my fellow lunch ladies know it.  They might actually read it.  Shoot, they might be reading this right now.  (Hi, ladies.)  I’ll know for sure when I go into work tomorrow and they avoid making eye contact with me or start speaking to me very slowly and making a big to-do when I don’t spill something, cut myself, or trip over my own feet–all with an indulgent grin on their faces.

Because, obviously, I have issues.

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44 thoughts on “The Blog is Out of the Bag

  1. Oh, I like your issues. A lot.

    I worry about the time when people I know have easy access to my blog (like, a link on my personal FB page where I don’t promote my blog at all) and I know they might be reading and then I get into the swirling vortex of WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?? and then go clinically insane and they have to lock me away.

    But other than that? No biggie.

    So. I get what you’re saying.

  2. I have always had a fear that some people would stumble on my blog and I would have to answer some questions. It is still a fear of mine but I decided that I didn’t really care. There are a few people I still would be freaked out by and it is always weird to have someone say, “I was reading your blog…” My has been more an issue of guy friends hitting on me more but if I know they’ve read it, no way am I dating them.

    • I understand that. They would know WAY too much about you to even consider that. Knowing who reads does give me pause about how much to share. That might be a good thing. I have a tendency to share too much.

  3. This is too funny. I think a lot of us feel this way. I don’t promote my blog to family or friends either, although many have discovered it. I guess its kinda weird that I want thousands of readers, as long as only a few of them are folks that I know. Oh well, I guess that’s life in a social media world.

  4. Haha I am a little that way too. I do promote my blog on Facebook. I initially started it because so many people wanted me to “tell them everything” and “post a lot of pictures” about Germany, and it’s just not feasible to do that one on one for everyone. Plus, I like to write and I think I convey my experiences better in writing than if I have to talk. So I just post a link when I’ve updated. But it’s semi-awkward when I find out someone has been reading it, and they have never commented or “like” posts so I didn’t find out until they say something and then I don’t really know what to say lol.

    • I know. I didn’t know what to say. On one hand, I wish they’d just not mention it. On the other, I would like to know what they think. But then, what if they hate it or think it’s stupid? Ach. Just pretend it doesn’t exist. 🙂

  5. Now didn’t you just capture exactly what we all feel!

    I blogged for two months before I told anyone I knew about it (except my husband who was suspicious about the laptop permanently under my fingertips). It is baring your soul to a great extent.

    Just before Christmas, one of my co-workers said “Have you read Elyse’s blog? It sounds just like you’re talking to her.” I am STILL not sure how to take that comment!

    Thanks for the smile and for knowing and expressing how we all feel!

    • I told all my friends and family right off the bat. I wonder all the time if that was a wise decision. Oh well. Too late now.

      As for that comment, I’d say it was complimentary. The real you is shining through.

  6. No, you are not normal! You and your blog are special. I’ll grant that you do normal things, but nobody’s perfect. Your issues, and how you face them, are what make your work worth reading.

    No way would I tell my co-workers that I blog! But that’s MY issue, along with my firm belief that if I did join a social network it would lead to having my door broken down and my removal to the Ministry of Truth, like in “1984”, or “Brazil”.

    • Oh, Mikey, you’re not normal either. I love that we can say that to each other and know it’s a compliment. You’ve got me worried, though. Are “they” really watching the Twitter? Yikes.

  7. Holy crap, I know of what you speak.
    My pals found out about my blog a few years ago, and I remember my husband asking, “But don’t you want people to read you?” and I thought, “Only SOME people.”
    Now, I have a major local pub featuring my blog (in a few weeks) and I AM FREAKING OUT. Not because I don’t want the publicity, but because I want to control the message, and I can’t.

    That’s the thing, right? People read the all of you and not just the parts you select?

    • It is. Yeah, I wrote it and everyone can read it, but I want to explain it, too. Tough. It’s out there and people will do with it as they will. Best of luck to you and congratulations. Take deep breaths. I’m sure it will be fine.

  8. I think everyone who writes has these issues. It’s all good and most of these ladies? They probably LOVE reading your blog. Don’t let the worries stop you from writing!

  9. I know a couple of people at work know about my blog. One Googled me to find out the origin of my name. One I even – shock horror – told about my blog because a relation of hers is applying for a spouse visa.

    Yes, it is scary. I don’t know why we want to keep it “apart” from our work life, when we want more readers! That is in one sense illogical, yet it another wanting to keep our work separate is, I think, normal.

    You never know – maybe they’ll like their names up in flashing lights! 😆

    • At least your blog is helpful. You offer hope, advice, and support for hurting people in similar situations. I’m more of a whiner/complainer/ranter. Also, these sensible ladies are of the opinion that people share way too much of their personal lives on the internet. That was an amusing conversation to sit in on. I didn’t say a WORD. 🙂

  10. Can totally relate. My blog is a bit personal. Personal in that I would rather have strangers read it. But last summer after a wave of sentimentality I wrote a post about my wonderful father. I then did the unthinkable…sent the link to my mom. All I can do to explain that is say that I didn’t have enough coffee and the summer heat had fried my brain.
    I love my mom, truly and her and my dad are my biggest blog supporters. Sometimes she loves me too much…like at Thanksgiving.
    When she was touched enough by a post to send the link to everyone in her address book. Yikes.
    I quickly hid the blog and changed the name and URL…and we are back in business.
    Congratulations for being much braver then me. I still hide behind my words.

  11. I think about this kind of thing all the time, what on Seinfeld they called, “Worlds colliding.” I always kept my work life and my outside of work life separate, but Facebook has brought them much more together. Some work people read my blog occasionally, but unless I promote something on Facebook, I don’t think they see it. They could though, of course, from a couple of clicks. Then I have family who read it, too, and I have a piece I wrote that I would be comfortable sharing with the world, but that would be very sad for family members, so I don’t know whether I’ll ever publish it.

  12. Thankfully I only worry about my family finding out that I have a blog. But so far so good. I live almost 3000 miles from them all. So for a year now my blog has been a secret from them. Oh ya…

  13. When I decided to make my blog public my family and friends were pulled in immediately. I chose to promote it on my personal FB page, so BAM there I am! I struggle with my desire/need to be open about me and feelings I can’t/won’t share with people who know me. Or at least who I’m not ready to share with, so there’s that. I can say overall I’m glad I stepped out into the public eye. It’s been a fabulous experience and I keep reaching out and trying to establish my blog/make friends with other bloggers.

  14. Imagine what it’s like for me? I also have links to my blog on the signature of my personal email, so I have to remember to delete when sending to certain people! By the way, you obviously have a good taste in theme. 😉

  15. Totally hear you on this. For some reason, I have no problem with complete strangers reading, but I’m not comfortable with people I know (well, some people anyway–like work people) reading. There has to be some deep psychological reason for this, eh?

  16. So, we need facebook to get along with people we know and blog to get along with people we don’t know. Both blog and facebook are social media. Seriously, how could many of us have the same idea in using facebook and blog? Human instinct?

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