Adventures In Christmas Shopping

Every year, my saint of a mother-in-law takes all the kids overnight so me and the husband can go out to eat and get our Christmas shopping done. I look forward to it.

A night out.  Alone.

It’s so tempting to just go home and sleep, especially this year. We both have colds and are exhausted. We couldn’t do that, of course. It was the last weekend before Christmas and we had bought exactly ONE present out of the required 15 for the kids. (See the Three Present Rule.)  There was only one problem.  We had no idea what we were buying.

Santa and Mrs. Claus bored

If we were Santa and Mrs. Claus, this would be us.

It was the last weekend before Christmas and we were going to have to wing it.

Scottish Eggs

Scottish Eggs-Hard-boiled eggs, wrapped in sausage, dipped in bread crumbs, and deep fried. Hungry?

We headed to the restaurant first because we always know what and where we’re going to eat.  Over our Scottish eggs, we made a tentative list.

Video game
MP3 Player
Falcons Jersey
Dress-Up Clothes
Books of some kind
Lemonade Mouth Movie (?)
Girly things
Boyish things

It was pathetic so we did what we always do.  We ate too much (Bangers and Mash and Shepherd’s Pie) and headed to the Wal-Mart.  Wal-Mart has everything kids want, right?  Well, no, they don’t.  We walked around the place a while (TWO hours) and bought a few things.

We headed to the Toys R Us, where they wanted almost $60 for an Easy Bake Oven.  Are you kidding me?  I have a perfectly good oven at home that doesn’t require a light bulb to work and actually makes cakes that taste good.   If my 8yo was Amish, she’d know how to bake bread, pies, cakes, and cookies using a wood stove.  Surely she could handle an electric oven.  We walked around a while (ONE hour) and bought a few things.

Lemonade Mouth

Lemonade Mouth (?) DVD

We headed to Target, still searching for my daughter’s last present.  We found it–the last copy of Lemonade Mouth (?) and added a few generic boyish and girly items to our cart.   We walked around a while (45 minutes) and bought a few things.

Then we headed to another Wal-Mart. (!!)   I needed a pair of black flats.  I tried to find a pair at Target but they literally had none in my size.  Zero.  Not even the ugly ones.  I knew Wal-Mart would have ugly black flats in my size.  As it turns out, they only had the ugliest of their wide selection of ugly black flats in my size.  And yes, I bought them, seeing as the entire Savannah area appeared to have a shortage of black flats in a size 8.  And they hurt my feet.

Anyhoo, we picked up that “book of some kind” for the 12yo and we were officially done.  Then the evening took a sinister turn.


This, I was prepared for.

Wal-Mart has that reputation for badly (half)dressed people walking around, clueless, with snotty-nosed toddlers wearing only a diaper and swigging Co-Cola from their bottles sitting in their cart, right?  Well, that was nothing compared to what I saw in the Wal-Mart.

Actually, I heard it first.  A woman started yelling profanities.  I’m not entirely sure what she was so worked up about, but it had something to do with some lady hogging the aisle.  She was MAD.  She yelled and the entire Wal-Mart stopped to stare.  The lady she was yelling at (along with her poor child in the cart, who was fully dressed and clean, by the way) walked away.  The angry lady (who also had a child with her)  stopped yelling for a while.  Until she spotted the aisle-hogger in the checkout line.

Then, I kid you not, she said the following:

“You and your ugly-a$$ child.  Yeah, I said it.  I went there.  You with your ugly-a$$, m-f’n child, *incoherent raving*, more m-f’ns, profanity, profanity, profanity, ugly-a$$, m-f’n child.  I said it and I don’t even care.”

I couldn’t believe it.  She said that about a CHILD, who looked to be about 3 or 4 years old, loud enough for him and everyone else in the Wal-Mart to hear it.  I wanted to punch her in the face and I’m sure I’m not the only one who felt that way.  My husband was waiting to break up the inevitable fight because that poor aisle-hogger probably weighed about 100 lbs. and the “heckler” was not a small woman.  He’s such a good guy.  (Love you, honey.)

The police showed up, which was lucky for the horrible woman,  because I’m pretty sure she was about to be the victim of a beat down.  I’m not the violent type, but it would be tempting to get in a few kicks and/or punches if such a thing occurred.  How could anyone say that about a child, much less to a child’s face?  So what if the kid’s mom was an aisle-hogger?  I don’t care if she rammed her in the butt repeatedly with her cart, there was no excuse for that.

Needless to say, I did not end the evening overcome by the Christmas spirit.  I was disgusted and shocked at the cruelty of people.   If my night was ruined, I can only imagine what that poor mother was feeling.  Wherever she is, I hope she’s telling her son what a beautiful boy he is and having a Merry Christmas.


20 thoughts on “Adventures In Christmas Shopping

  1. That sounded like my Black Friday shopping day . . . wonder around here & there not knowing what to buy. Lucky for me, though, I didn’t have the experience that you had with the “aisle hogger” & “the heckler”. I can see Chris waiting for the right moment to “jump in” (LOL).

    Merry Christmas!!

  2. WOW! Thanks for sharing. Folks never cease to amaze me. What an terrible thing to do! Shame on that woman! I would think that the aisle hogger hogged because she had a child in the buggy. ‘Cause you know as well as I do, children in buggies tend to grab things off the shelf if you steer too close. Merry Christmas to you and the family! Love ya.

    • Yeah, Wal-Mart is awful, but, unfortunately, it’s a necessary evil. I need to buy everything at one place with so many kids to lug around. 😦

      And yes, poor baby. People are crazy.

  3. That is so awful. How the mom had enough willpower to junk punch the crazy lady is beyond me. I don’t think I would have.

    In hopes of rekindling your Christmas spirit: I had a stranger push her cart past me in the grocery store this week and actually stop to tell me that my 4 year old seemed like a very nice little boy.

  4. . . . and then consider where the next generatoin of ” foul” people will come from
    the Bully, your Grand children will come face to face with in later years. I was fortunate enough to have a happy Experience at my Walmart, all be it at 5:30 in the early a.m. They actually had Christmas music playing on the intercom, just like the Old Days when it was Okay to say Christmas. Tthere were REAL pine boughs and wreaths that wonderful smell mingling with the smell of citrus Oranges and tangerines .and there was a huge shipping box with the bagged pine cones scented with the smell of cinnamon and cloves ( I know you don’t like cloves) and at that hour of morning the nut jobs are at home slumbering in their bed – where they belong – with their prozac – you will probably see my picture circulating one day among the
    ” Walmartians After Dark” version . I’ll be the one dressed in work boots cargo sweats and thermal Hoodie wrapped in a reflective safety vest NEON pi^&%^$ Yellow. I’ll have to tell you about Adventures in Kroger some other time ~ Merry Christmas

  5. That is so terrible! That women needs a good take down. I am a walmart boycotter. I only go there under complete desperation. Which is hard cause I live now in rural MO where Walmart is akin to nordstroms . That walking around and around part is one of my pet peaves. I know – wally wants make sure we all get our exercise!

  6. Hey. Merry Christmas. Just to let you know – the Scottish eggs resonated with me. My mum loved them as a kid but I had never eaten them – they seem to have disappeared off SA menus and then, just about the day you were writing this – someone brought us Scottish eggs, which struck me as delicious if less than healthy. NB: I had a live chicken jump out at me from someone’s handbag in my Christmas eve ‘Wal-mart’ experience.

  7. Sending lots of love and light after her evil doing to that child. Aghast that adults would, in this day and age of supposed “awareness” treat any child so. Thank you for sharing a most timely reminder. Also, have now learned the meaning of “beat down.” Never heard the term in my life until I read it in your piece. But I do know the urge because I felt like smacking her, too. 🙂

  8. I loved the picture of Mr & Mrs Claus – they looked just a bit cheeky.

    Hi, was visiting Aurora’s blog & saw you on her blogroll. I like HER blog, and was curious about “momfog”. Sounded good.

    I didn’t know Wal-mart had that rep (obviously, I’m from Australia) but I loved the photo!!! As for kids swigging Coke from their drink bottles – that’s horror.

    Very entertaining – thank you 🙂

  9. People in Wally World never cease to amaze me 🙂 That is exactly why I completely avoided shopping this holiday season, as I knew the crazies would be out in full force. I had all my shopping done either before Thanksgiving or I would go in the wee hours of the morning to pick up a few things. Granted I only have a 6 month old son, so it is much easier to shop for him.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s