“The Feeling” (Part I)

I had “the feeling.”  Rather than waiting and fretting, I headed to the Dollar General Store to buy the pregnancy test.  I was a Pro, no need for a $15 test when the $1 one worked just as well.  It would probably be negative anyway.  Other than “the feeling,” I had no reason to suspect anything.  It was too early.

I got the results in record time.  It took 4 seconds for two lines to appear. Oh me.  I dialed my husband’s work number, waited long enough for him to say hello and broke the news gently.  “I’m pregnant.”

“Oooomph.”  I had knocked the wind out of him.  The rest of the conversation proceeded in cheesy sitcom fashion.  Lots of “ooohs” and “ohs” and “ahs” and “okays” broken up by stunned silences.   What was the big deal?  It was only our 5th baby.

We broke the news to his mom.  “What?!” followed by the most pitiful look I’d ever received.  She recovered quickly.  She apologized and gave me a hug, the kind you give someone who has suffered a trauma.  It was appropriate.

Next on the list was my father-in-law.  He was rendered speechless.  It was the first miracle I’d ever witnessed.

Finally, I called my mom.  She wasn’t shocked.  She’d had a dream I was pregnant.  I made her tell my dad.  I always had trouble telling my dad I was pregnant.  I know he knows how I got that way, and wouldn’t all dads prefer not to be reminded that their daughters are doing “that”?

I enjoyed the pregnancy, my last. Sure my nose swelled up and spanned almost ear to ear, but I could wear maternity jeans.  Maternity jeans are the absolute best thing about being pregnant.  I wore them for about a year and a half, until I discovered yoga pants.  I didn’t get morning sickness.  I ate whatever and whenever I wanted.  I was living the dream, baby.

I scheduled my delivery.   I planned on doing it without an epidural.  Not because I wanted a beautiful, fulfilling birthing experience, but because I hated the idea of not being able to move my legs.  I hated being heaved in and out of bed by an irate nurse.  I panicked when I thought of being paralyzed from the waist down.  Semi-natural was my choice.  Bring on the Demoral.

I was doing really well until my coach said the worst thing she could possibly say.  “You only have to do this for a couple of more hours.”

TWO HOURS of this horrendous, awful, terrible, gut-wrenching Pain?  I started to whimper and called for the epidural.

It took several pricks in my spine to get it in and it only worked on one side, but I could feel my legs.  Then, I passed out.  Anesthesia, or any drugs for that matter, knock me out.

Then my blood pressure dropped, making me even more sleepy.  I don’t remember much after that, except for overhearing the nurses talking to the family of a laboring woman.  “…pressure too low…needs to improve…we may need to do a C-Section…”  Poor girl, I thought, not realizing the poor girl was me.  I found out later the nurse told my husband to keep nudging me and not to worry as long as I responded.  Nice.

Time passed and I opened my eyes, suddenly wide awake.  I saw my mother-in-law praying, and said, “I think I need to go to the bathroom.”  The nurse checked me.  Nature was calling, but not in the way I thought.

The delivery room sprang to life.  Tools laid out, lights positioned, baby incubator wheeled in, and the big, fat, exhausted soon-to-be-not-pregnant lady in the stirrups.  The doctor was set to receive and the play was in motion.

A few pushes later (I am an excellent pusher) and Anna Grace entered the world, re-dividing my heart from four parts into five.


22 thoughts on ““The Feeling” (Part I)

  1. My friend has two children, one really hyper 2 year old and a 3 month old baby. She has a lot of friends living around her, so they babysit a lot. I don’t know how you manage with 5!!

  2. So, while I don’t know this feeling with baby # 5…yet :), your storytelling brings me right back into that delivery room, honestly, in all of the most raw and wonderful ways. Although, I was never brave enough to even attemp chidbirth without drugs! Good for you! Beautifully written story….looking forward to part 2….and perhaps a baby number 3 for myself. Wow. Big talk! Huge!

    • Every experience is different but beautiful in their own way. I hope you get the opportunity to experience childbirth. It revealed so much about my character. Some of it good, some of it, not so much.

  3. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww – this is so sweet and so cool at the same time! Loved the bit about your Dad – yes, I think all father’s are the same. My eldest daughter’s father used to say he was going to “fill it with cement” until she was 25!!!

    • That’s a lovely image. 🙂 My husband is really considering the idea of arranged marriage. For now, he’s simply forbidden her to date until she’s 40. Sure.

  4. We broke the news to his mom. “What?!” followed by the most pitiful look I’d ever received. She recovered quickly. She apologized and gave me a hug, the kind you give someone who has suffered a trauma. It was appropriate.

    Next on the list was my father-in-law. He was rendered speechless. It was the first miracle I’d ever witnessed.

    These paragraphs made me laugh out loud, great descriptions! 🙂

  5. I found you through the Write On Edge Weekend Linky.

    Oh man! I loved my epidural. But then, I only got to have one. I was induced for my daughter’s birth, so I didn’t know what real labor felt like. When my son came along, I decided the labor was false and chose to ignore it for some 48 hours, until suddenly I was in transition, and my husband was calling frantically to have someone get over to stay with our daughter. I reached the hospital thirty minutes before my son entered the world.

    • Oh, that was a close call! It didn’t really matter in the end whether I had an epidural during labor or not. I had my tubes tied and they had to give me one anyway. I couldn’t feel my legs for hours and I freaked a little.

  6. I love this. I can identify with so much here – I also had a hard time telling my dad I was pregnant – I didn’t want any indisputable evidence that I did “that” 🙂 We still joke that I’ve had two miraculous conceptions! 🙂

    I also LOVE maternity jeans and would wear them every single day if I could.

    Beautiful post.

    • Thanks. There’s a suspended reality when it comes to daddies and their little girls and marriage and children. It’s similar to the belief children have about their parents. Miraculous conceptions or “relations” the exact number of times as they have children. 🙂

  7. I’m behind on reading the WoE weekend linkup, but I’m glad I got to this post!

    I’ve ready A LOT of birth stories but I think this is my favorite. I love how you covered the whole pregnancy through the birth with a great balance of humor and drama and emotion.

    You have 5 more kids than I have, but I think everyone’s individual number is the right number!

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