Crying It Out With “The Help.”

sculpture crying giant by Tom Otterness in The...

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Last Thursday was a tough day.  It was one of those days when all I felt like doing was crying.  Crying because my body hurt.  Crying for the sad little girl who lost her grandmother.  Crying for the sweetness and struggles of the Special Needs children I see every day.  Crying over a break-up song on the radio.  Crying because my refrigerator is broken.  Crying because I have to get up at 5:30 and can’t sleep.  Crying because I want to go back to college.  Crying because…because.

The urge to cry started early–at about 7:15 in the morning and I came dangerously close to surrendering several times throughout the day.  Of course, I stifled.  Crying at work would bring questions from fellow employees, crying in the car would bring questions from the kids, and crying at home would bring questions from the DH.  The pressure was building all day and the worst case scenario was a real possibility–breaking down in the middle of a conversation, inconsolable and covered in tears and snot, while my family watches in horror and I feel like an idiot.

Then, sweet relief.

I went to the movies and saw “The Help.”  I cried.  And cried. Then cried again.  And it was okay because everyone in the theater was sniffling.  It’s one of those movies.  If you see it and you don’t cry or at least tear up a little, you may want to check if you still have a soul.

After crying a little, I felt better.  I thought I’d gotten it all out.  Then I got in my car to go home.  It wasn’t 3 minutes before I was bawling my eyes out.

It’s been a long time since a movie has had that effect on me.  “The Help” may have surpassed “Pride and Prejudice” as my favorite movie ever.  Certainly, crying over movies is not new to me, but never have the reasons been so substantial.  While I cried like a crazy person, I ran the gamut of emotions.

  • Anger–I’ve never hit anyone in my life, but if I met someone like Hilly Holbrook I have no doubts that I would punch her in the face.
  • Pity–For the people who blindly follow people like Hilly, who feel inferior because of people like Hilly, or who are like Hilly.
  • Respect–For people who do what is right, no matter the consequences.  For people who swallow their pride and their complaints and do the work because it’s what they have to do to survive, but never lose sight of their worth as a person and a child of God.  For people who know when it’s time to stand up even if getting knocked down is sure to follow.
  • Jealousy –For the people who do the above.  For Katheryn Stockett who wrote a great book.  For the writers, producers, and the director who made an even better movie (in my opinion.)  For everyone who knows what they want and go and get it.
  • Resolve–To get my stuff together.  To decide what it is I want to do and do it.  To write and to share it, without fear of criticism or rejection.  To be happy in my own skin.

I guess the crying went on for about 10-15 minutes before I pulled myself together and went through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and got a large Mocha.  The perfect ending to a good cry, I must say.

As is usual after a good cry, I felt better.  I do this more than I care to admit.  This time was a little different.  I felt inspired instead of simply relieved.  In other words, it wasn’t a pity party.  It was a purging.  As is also usual with me, I had to ruminate a while on the meaning of it all.   Would the resolve go away?  Turns out, no.  Come Sunday night, it was still there and I wrote the “Momfog Manifesto.”

Getting my stuff together?  Check.  Deciding what I want to do? Check.  Doing it? Check.  Without fear of criticism or rejection?

Well, let’s just say it’s a work in progress.

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21 thoughts on “Crying It Out With “The Help.”

  1. Crying is good for the soul, I have always thought. I haven’t seen the movie, but I want to, I did read about it some time ago.

    My printer broke if that is any consolation re the fridge – although probably not. A replacement printer is a lot cheaper than a replacement fridge!

    • I can’t imagine what would happen if I didn’t have the big cry every now and again. I’m guessing implosion or explosion, neither one a very nice prospect. As for the refrigerator, we’ve found a free one from a very nice friend. One less thing to cry about!

  2. I’m excited to see ‘The Help’, and sad to say I haven’t read the book yet. Maybe I need to go see this to get my crying out, too.

    I’ve been on the weepy side lately because my mom is having to put down her oldest cat (he’s diabetic). I’m not that ‘close’ to the cat, but he was there most of my growing up years, and he’s the last living connection to a couple other beloved childhood pets . . . that’s what makes it so hard.

    So yes, I think I just need a good, long cry . . . and I need to read the book.

    • If you need a cry, “The Help” is for you. I didn’t cry when I read the book, nor did I get inspired. The movie brought the whole thing to life, I suppose. Plus, there were a few changes to the story that I thought were better, which is odd. I usually hate that sort of thing. Both are good, though.

    • Even a mid-afternoon matinee? It’s probably a good idea to wait anyway. Then you can cry with full abandon without looking like an idiot. 🙂 I will definitely be buying this one!

  3. I loved this post girly. 🙂 Very well written and I am JEALOUS of you for being able to cry so easily. I have the hardest time just crying. It is so bad, the inability to cry, that I just let it happen when it happens.

    Once in during a very trying time, I just started balling for no reason in the blasted Block Buster looking for a movie. I wasn’t gut crying, but I could not stop the tears. I looked at my hubby and sobbed–sorry–but I just am gonna go with it. He hugged me and we went on looking for a video and that made me cry harder. hahaha! I really think that is a funny memory of a HORRIBLE time.

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart. 😀

    • I’m not an easy crier, but when enough pressure, emotion, or stress has built up, it leaks out of my eyes. I’d say it happens once a month or maybe every two months. It depends on the circumstances. The exception is that when I get angry, I cry. Every time. It’s so embarrassing. I certainly do not cry over Hallmark commercials, cute kittens or puppies, or anything like that. Well, usually not.

  4. Oh have I been there. wanting to cry but holding back for fear my husband will run away! But sometimes you just got to have that release. Hang in there. As for the book, I just finished it and thought it was okay. Not brilliant or life-changing the way my friends gushed over it. But now that you say the movie is good, maybe I’ll get me a big box of Kleenex and go see it!

  5. I just wish there was a way to cry without looking like crap…I’d do it a whole lot more often. But for me, it just ain’t pretty. Plus, yeah, it tends to disturb others – my boys simply cannot stand to see me cry – the hubby has learned to just roll with it. Might just have to see that movie.

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