I thought for sure that my kids would provide me so much material during out 12 hour trip. When have they gone longer than 10 minutes without fighting or being the most annoying people on earth? Never. Until we piled in a car and all of them had a Nintendo DS to keep them occupied. In anticipation of their general awful behavior, I had a plan. We would make periodic stops and take some goofy pictures to document our trip and maybe give them a chance to stretch their legs or have something to look forward to. But, since they were mostly quiet and only had a couple of minor squabbles, I took advantage, and just drove.
They finally gave me some trouble when we stopped to eat dinner at the McDonald’s, a mere hour and a half from our destination. I had a couple of really nasty diapers to change, courtesy of my 21-month-old daughter, who was apparently waiting for a restaurant to stink up before she let loose. Fine by me. Better the McDonald’s than my car. Then, in uncharacteristic fashion, my 5-year-old decided he’d have a go with a poopy accident. There’s something about the McDonald’s that makes people want to poo, I guess.
Anyway, I got some goofy pictures of the kids on the Play Ground (post-clean-up, of course.)
Things were pretty boring until we got to the motel. When we pulled into the parking lot, I instructed Miss Molly and Crazy Billy to lay down in the backseat. Why? Well, there is a three kid limit to a room. Now, I don’t have the funds to rent 2 rooms. Since we enter the rooms from the outside, it was essential we sneak the other two kids in. So, I told them to lie down so they wouldn’t be spotted. They obliged, but after about 30 seconds, Miss Molly asks in a suspicious voice, “Is this a joke?” No, dear heart, it’s not.
I get the room and drive around to the parking lot. It turns out, we have to walk across a large expanse of grass to get to the door. The chances of us making it unnoticed, at 11:00 pm when there is nobody else around, are not good. Considering the kids picked that exact moment to be loud, obnoxious, and clumsy made it impossible. They dropped blankets and suitcases, Billy talked in his only tone of voice which happens to be an outside-on-the-playground-with-tons-of-kids-radio-blasting-swarm-of-bees-passing-by voice, and all of them decided it was time to start pretending they were in Wrestlemania. On a positive note, Anna learned a couple of new words. The sh%% one, which she only said once (as did I, in a moment of panic and frustration), but only because she liked the other one much better. We made our way across no-man’s land with a 21-month-old repeatedly saying, “dammit” at the top of her lungs, and the other kids laughing hysterically at the profanity coming out of such a sweet baby’s mouth.
Miraculously, no one accosted us and made me pay the $70 for another room. Even more amazing, not one person knocked on our door once we got in the room and all the kids started arguing about who was sleeping in which bed. Turns out, one was on the floor and another one had a bed all to himself. The other three slept in the bed with me, where the most comfortable spot must’ve been my head and my feet. Anna head butted me several times before finally drifting off. When I woke up the next morning, I could barely stand, my back hurt so bad.
The next leg of the trip was even more pleasant than the first. Even less arguing and no traffic. Well, until we got about an hour outside of Louisville. The rain was really coming down and the interstate went down to one lane for a while. We only stopped moving for about 2 minutes. That was scary, though. While we were sitting there, a huge bolt of lightning struck not 100 ft. from us. We all flinched/ducked/squealed. The crackling was freaky. By the time we got home, the rain had slowed to a drizzle and I was more than ready to get out of that car. This was a welcome sight.
I must say it was a pleasant trip. Somehow, I feel like the trip home will more than make up for that. They still have their Nintendo DSs and I still have the camera. Maybe I can get some better pictures on the way home. Honestly, I’d rather just drive. Hopefully, the kids will cooperate. Though it would make for much better reading if they acted more like themselves. If you’re hoping they will, just so you will be more entertained–shame on you.