Quit Smoking with the WordPress Support Group

Daily Foglifter:  The average smoker takes five years and seven attempts to quit smoking.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life–as a non-smoker.  Last week, I was puttering around in the WordPress forums and came across the thread, “Who wants to quit smoking with me.”  I hovered my mouse arrow over the title, contemplating the question.  Do I want to quit?  Yes.  Do I need to quit?  YesAm I ready to quit? Yes Can I commit to quit?  Um…yeah, maybe, no, yes.  I clicked it.

It was mideavalmaiden, a blogging friend, and she was being reasonable.  We can commit to “cut back in the near future.”  It didn’t sound so bad.  It was more of a plan to plan to quit smoking.  I agreed.

Ach.

The thread took on a life of its own, with dribblingpensioner, agringa, harrythehandyman, laavventura, and marcialoyd making the commitment.  Suddenly there was a contract and a badge to display on our blogs, declaring to the WORLD we were quitting the infernal cancer sticks, fags, cigs, smokes, or whatever other name there is for that blissful, stress-reducing, perfect-with-a-cup-of-coffee-or-a-long-drive-or-after-a-meal item, otherwise known as the cigarette.  And the near future was Monday, exactly one week away.  I had a mild panic attack.

Of course I had to go through with it.  I’d look like an idiot, otherwise.  Or a wimp.  I can’t have that.  So now it’s Sunday night and I’m starting to rethink the whole idea.  So what if I’m a wimp?  Sticks and stones and all of that.  So what if I can’t laugh, talk, or vacuum without hacking up a lung? I just won’t do those things.  So what i f I can’t sing along with the radio without my voice cracking?  I can’t sing worth a crap anyway so it’s better if I don’t do it at all.  So what if I end up talking through a tube in my esophagus?  That’s a wicked awesome way to freak out the kiddies.  So what if I die by drowning in my own lungs?  I can’t think of a rationalization for that one.  Death by drowning would freakin’ suck in any form.

Of course I’m going to do it.  It’s a disgusting habit that makes my breath and clothes stink and my body ill.  It’s expensive.  It’s unattractive.  And it gives me wrinkles.  It will be difficult but I know that, with a little help from my friends, I can do it.

To give you an idea how wonderful this support group is, take a look at this contract written up by the always funny and wise Harry the Handyman:

Stop smoking self help group.

A contract between member’s of wordpress.

As from Monday the 9th of May 2011 at 11.00 am, we all intend to try and stop smoking.

We will report daily to all member’s on the progress we have made and how we feel.

We will also report if we had to call the police because we nearly killed some-one.

If any other member would like to join the group you will be welcome, please send each member a £20 joining fee. ($32.98)

If we all fail to stop smoking, we will all meet and kill midaevalmaiden for starting us on this path of torture.

Any member who fail’s to stop smoking will impose a 2 week blog ban on themselve’s.

Good luck to all, see you in the clinic for nervous tension therapy.

If you’re interested in the group’s progress, wish to join, or simply offer your support, click on the “My Pledge Stop Smoking Badge” in the sidebar, courtesy of midaevalmaiden, the mastermind behind this horrible wonderful idea.

“Oscar Wilde: ‘Do you mind if I smoke?’

Sarah Bernhardt: ‘I don’t care if you burn’”

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17 thoughts on “Quit Smoking with the WordPress Support Group

  1. Good luck! Take it an hour at the time . . . minute by minute . . . U can do it!!

    Is Christopher taking the pledge with you? If not, I will keep U, him & the whole family in my prayers . . . double time! ; )

    • I plan to stay busy. I might even be able to get this house clean! Chris hasn’t said anything about joining me but that’s ok. You can’t agree to quit unless you’re ready because it’s not going to work. Plus, do we really need two cranky, mean, evil people in our house at the same time? I think not. 🙂

      Thanks for the prayers!

  2. Thats something else, I also think the smokin is hurting my ability to sing. I get drymouth so fast. Its like its sucking all the moister away. And I really don’t want wrinkles. Those are two excellent reasons to quit. Ill add them to the forum thread if you don’t.

    As long as we aim high every second of every day it can only get better.

    • My lungs are already loosening up a bit. Not to be gross, but I’ve had productive coughs all day. It’s a good sign, even if it is kind of yucky.

    • Thank you so much! Day One was surprisingly bearable. The night, not so much. I’m sucking on hard candy, both legs are bouncing, and I’m making a thousand typos since my hands are so jumpy. But I’ll get through it.

  3. Good luck to you all. I hovered over it too. But right now is not the time for me to try. I would be dooming myself to failure under the circumstances.

    It is most definitely on both my husband’s any my “to do” list when they come home though.

  4. Congratulations and good luck to you all. Remember that each day that passes you’re getting nearer and nearer your goal to becoming a non-smoker (not an ex-smoker) and obtaining complete freedom from your old habits. After a few failed attempts I finally managed to quit ten years ago and I never think about it now / never get tempted. I ended up opting for hypnosis because my willpower was pretty low back then, and I was so impressed with the result that I even went on to train as a hypnotherapist (www.londonstopsmoking.co.uk). But there’s no one right way. It’s doing it the way that works for you and, more importantly, at a time when you’re ready.

    Best of luck to you all!

  5. This made my day lol. “Oscar Wilde: ‘Do you mind if I smoke?’ Sarah Bernhardt: ‘I don’t care if you burn’” I am very proud as I know it is hard to quit smoking. We need more ex-smoker like you to help support the idea of quit smoking.

    • Oh, well perhaps you should have read more of the blog. I am very much still a smoker. This attempt, like all my others, didn’t “take.” Sorry if that disappoints you.

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