Whine and Roses

Daily Foglifter:  The term “horse sense” originates from the American West between the years 1825-35.

The temperature outside today went into the 90s and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  It was truly a beautiful day.  I didn’t step outside once.  I spent the day inside.  It wasn’t much different as the temperature inside the house topped out at a cool 86 degrees.  The air conditioner is broken.  We have a window unit and a portable AC unit, but it’s no match for the sun beating down on our undoubtedly damaged roof.

It’s only April and the weather around these parts doesn’t get cooler.  It gets hotter.  And wetter.  It’s unpleasant.  It makes me irritable.  It makes the kids complain.  It’s horrible.  It makes my brain forget how to form complex sentences.  It also makes me forget to use my good common sense.  My horse sense, if you will.

I’ve been doing cakes for years.  I’ve been going to church on Wednesday night for years.  I know that I have to have dinner ready at a certain time if there’s any hope of eating before 9:00 pm.  It doesn’t matter that I know all that.  I still didn’t plan my day accordingly.  Well, I thought I did.  But the heat and humidity through a wrench in the works.

An unexpected result of The Blog has been an increase in cake orders.  That is, they went from nonexistent to one a week for 5 weeks.  I’m thrilled.  I really do love doing it.  But I’ve always had a working air conditioner and it has never been so hot in my house when decorating.

Heat + butter + sugar + vegetable shortening = unstable icing, frustration, and  me violently throwing decorating bags of icing in the freezer when the buttercream roses melt into a sickly pink blob.   

What should’ve taken me a little over an hour took three.  The “roses” were put on the cake and  I managed to get dinner ready exactly five minutes before it was time to leave for church.  I obviously wasn’t going.  I didn’t go as I hadn’t had time to take a shower and the baby, wearing only a saggy diaper, was sitting in the contents of a spilled bag of Marshmallow Pebbles (yuck) and she was covered from head to toe in some unknown substance.

The Horse Cake

I passed the cake on to the equally exasperated husband and he took the rest of the kids to church.  Or so I thought.  I was sitting down eating my cold dinner when #3 and #4 came into the living room.  They immediately started crying when they discovered they’d been left.  #4 boldly proclaimed he was walking to church.  I was SOOOOOO tempted to let him try.

Looking for some peace, I suggested NetFlix, the most wonderful invention EVER, but was deeply disappointed when it wouldn’t work.  I HATE technology!  Instead, I found a stupid, mindless, and sub par movie for them to watch.  And now it’s them in front of the television watching “Planet 51” and being quiet.  I LOVE technology!

Now, as evening approaches and the heat has subsided somewhat, I sit here looking at the garbage dump I call a house.  It has to be cleaned, but I don’t want to do it.  It’s finally getting cool in here and all I want is to take a shower, put on some yoga pants and a comfortable T-shirt, and read.  I wonder which scenario will win out?

The days of wine and roses laugh and run away like a child at play
Through a meadow land toward a closing door
A door marked “nevermore” that wasn’t there before.

The lonely night discloses just a passing breeze filled with memories
Of the golden smile that introduced me to
The days of wine and roses and you

~”The Days of Wine and Roses” lyrics by Johnny Mercer