I’m the Proud Parent of an Honor Roll Student at…

Daily Foglifter:  The “dot” over the letter “i” is called a tittle.

Yeah, I know these bumper stickers are annoying.  And rude.  It’s impolite to brag.  But guess what?  I couldn’t care less.  I have four honor roll students at four different schools.  I don’t have the bumper stickers, though I totally have the room since I drive an obscenely large Ford Expedition.  You’re judging me now, aren’t you?  Well, if you have any other suggestion for an automobile that will haul five rapidly growing kids that gets more than 13 miles per gallon, believe me, I’m open to suggestions. 

ANYway, where was I?  Oh yeah.  I was talking about my brilliant children.  Aidan, the sixth grader, barely eked out an 82% in Math to earn the coveted Honor Roll Certificate.  Now Aidan gets math.  What he doesn’t get is the concept of “showing the work.”  He looks at the problem, knows the answer, and fails to see the importance of explaining how he knows.  The importance, of course, is preparation for the dreaded Calculus problem that has a hundred steps, making it necessary to write down everything, in case he makes a mistake somewhere and can identify it and work from there.  He didn’t accept that explanation from me and he isn’t accepting it from his teacher.  He’s very practical and hates doing unnecessary work–a trait he gets from his father.  :0

I’m especially proud of Michael, the fifth grader.  Michael has autism, but is in regular classes (has been since Kindergarten) and has always made the honor roll.  Not just the A and B Honor Roll, the straight A Honor Roll.  It helps that he has what I suspect is a photographic memory and the hearing equivalent.  Meaning that if he reads it or hears it, it’s his, forever.  The kid is amazing.  I am always asking him about things I know he heard me talking about because I know he’ll provide the details that have completely escaped my brain.  Watching Jeopardy with him is an awesome experience.

The biggest surprise is my daughter, Molly.  Not because she isn’t smart, but because she doesn’t like to do work.  Of any kind.  She’s also a little flighty.  Alas, she gets this trait from her mother.   She also likes to talk–a lot.  She’s silly and gets really excited about everything.  Her laugh is pure joy.  Fortunately, this makes her a favorite with teachers, who overlook her unfinished or forgotten homework and general disorganization.  She delivers when it counts.  Test scores through the roof and always ready with a correct answer when called on to provide one. 

And then there’s Billy.  Billy is a mess.  He’s hilarious, smart-mouthed, and makes the funniest faces I’ve ever seen.  He’s always been the clown in the family and I was sure he would be sent to the office at least three times a week.  He actually didn’t talk much for the fist half of the year.  That all changed when they did the unit on families and his class discovered he had FOUR siblings and 5 pets (the cat had kittens).  He “won” the biggest family award.  That brought out his inner celebrity and he’s been entertaining his classmates and teachers ever since.  He’s in Pre-K so there’s no letter grades.  Instead, there are NY (Not yet able), IP (In Progress), or P (Proficient).  He got all Ps, except for one IP in Writing (when asked what the purpose of writing was, he said he didn’t want to talk about it) and an IP in Personal Information.  Apparently, he doesn’t know his name.  He’s under the impression that his name is Billy William, instead of Gary William.  It’s our fault, really, for giving him a first name we never call him by, and a middle name that we never call him by either, instead opting for the “short” version, Billy.  Talk about confusing.

In three short years, Anna will be in school.  Judging by her current behavior, she will get sent to the principal’s office every day for playing in the garbage can, yelling “no” at her teachers every time they ask her anything, or for eating glue, crayons, chalk, fingerpaint, paper, paper clips, pencils, puzzle pieces, beads, dirt….

“He who teaches children learns more than they do”  ~German Proverb

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9 thoughts on “I’m the Proud Parent of an Honor Roll Student at…

  1. I LOVE it!!! I love your kids, and not that I have a favorite, but, if I had to choose, Billy would be my favorite. He is hilarious!!!

    • Yeah, he is. Unfortunately, his “humorous side” tends to be of the sassy variety. My favorite thing he does is to say something he knows will get him in trouble or that he knows isn’t true, and then when I call him on it, he says, “I didn’t say that. I said ______.” It’s a lie, pure and simple, but what he says he said is usually so funny or nonsensical that it’s hard to get mad. He also happens to be the most affectionate of my children and the only one who calls me “mommy.” I suspect he calls me mommy because he knows how much I love it and is trying to extend the free pass he already gets for being so darn cute.

    • Oh no. If I tell you, you’ll probably psychoanalyze them to death with all that Freudian mumbo-jumbo you learned in college. Seriously though, do you think they’re normal? I mean, why can’t they ever sit still and do exactly like I ask, and do it neatly?

      I liked your post. I can imagine how frustrating it would be to have people make those kinds of assumptions. It could be worse. You could’ve graduated pre-med with a focus on dermatology. Imagine it. “I have this rash that is really gross and itchy. Do you know what it is?” Said while unbuttoning their pants or taking off their shoes. Ick.

      Quick! What am I thinking right now? 🙂

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