Please, Beth Moore, Stop Beating That Dead Horse So I Can Go Home

1002 Beth Moore Revelation 5x28125 SLIDE

Last night, I was really excited about getting out of the house and meeting with my Ladies’ Bible Study group.  I’d had a pretty good day and my mouth wasn’t hurting, so I thought it would be fine.  The only medication I’d been taking was ibuprofen so I’d be able to drive.  So I went. 

We’re doing the Beth Moore Bible Study on Revelation.  Normally, I LOVE Beth Moore.  She’s passionate, funny, loves research, and finds etymology fascinating (who doesn’t?)  She’s also cute as a button–big blonde hair, spray tan, darling clothes.  She’s from Texas, if that helps explain it any better.  I love her.  I really, really do.  But last night?  Not so much.

I was fine in the beginning.  I was eating chocolate brownie cheesecake and the subject matter was intriguing, if not a little scary.  Revelation is my favorite book of the Bible, particularly from a literary standpoint.  It’s masterful.  I really wanted to be there and delve into it.  We were examining the many interpretations of the seven seals and I was in heaven, so to speak.   Then, about halfway through, my mouth was suddenly excruciatingly painful.  I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the pain and the only thing going through my mind remotely related to what Beth Moore was saying was the phrase, “weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.”  I don’t think I ever truly understood the significance of that phrase until last night. 

I wanted to go home.  Unfortunately, it was the longest lesson in the bible study.  Beth Moore kept apologizing for it and every time she mentioned it, I groaned a little bit.  Her thoroughness, which is normally my favorite thing about her, was exhausting.  The many interpretations of the four horsemen of the apocalypse held zero interest for me last night.  Even when she made the very funny reference to “beating a dead horse,”  I could barely make the effort to laugh.  If you know me, that is exactly the kind of joke I find most endearing and most amusing.  It’s the kind of humor I was raised on, being the daughter of THE Pun Master.  But last night, I thought, “Yes.  PLEASE stop beating a dead horse and get to the prayer already.”  It was not my finest moment.

It really makes me mad that my stupid wisdom teeth have interrupted my life so much.  I’ve been drugged, incoherent, mean, exhausted, lazy, ineffectual, sleep-deprived, irritated, angry,  nauseous, dizzy, and itchy.  Those I could deal with, but when it takes away my appreciation for solid research, literary genius, fascinating eschatology, and a good solid corny pun, I have to draw the line. 

I need the Ladies’ Bible Study.  It’s good for my brain and my soul.  So, next week, I’m not going to let anything get in the way of my enjoyment of it.   Of course, the pain should be gone by then, but it won’t surprise me if something else “comes up.”  Something always seems to happen when I’m enjoying a good Bible Study.  We’ll see.


One thought on “Please, Beth Moore, Stop Beating That Dead Horse So I Can Go Home

  1. Pingback: laying it on the line | Having done all you can to stand.. STAND therefore

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