I have been high for about 24 hours. No, I haven’t taken up any illicit drugs. I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning and between the nitrous oxide, IV, and Percocet I have been pretty much hammered. I am not used to it. Aside from the times I had my babies and when my chronic back pain is too much for me to handle, the strongest thing I take is NyQuil or some Bailey’s Irish Cream in my coffee. It’s a good thing.
I have a tendency to talk too much. Just ask my husband. From the time he walks in the door until he goes to bed, my mouth is going a mile a minute. Of course it is. Sometimes he is the only adult I’ve spoken to all day. He puts up with it quite nicely–a lot of hmmms, uh-huhs, or he just ignores me. It’s ok, because honestly I’m not looking for sparkling conversation, I only want to get it all out there and I rarely stop talking long enough for him to respond anyway. I hear myself talking and think, “Shut up! You’re driving everybody crazy!”
Then, add in drugs. I know this is a dated reference, but do you remember the television show Blossom and her friend Six? Well, I put Six to shame. To make matters worse, my filter gets disconnected. I can no longer will myself to shut up and my endeavor to use clean language is a major fail. When I’m under the influence, my potty mouth spews wildly and I find myself apologizing to my kids, my husband, and even my mother-in-law, who happens to be a preacher’s wife. At least I haven’t let it fly on him yet. The subject matter is all out of whack, too. I babble on about the dumbest stuff. It’s especially bad when I first wake up and start in mid-sentence about something I saw on the news last night. Chris, for the most part, ignores me.
I didn’t take any medication this morning because I had a parent/teacher conference scheduled. So my teeth were hurting and I was having some serious hangover issues. Aside from the headaches, shivers, and the shakes, I am mean! I’m talking hair-trigger temper here. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND A PEN? THERE ARE 1000 PENS RIGHT IN THIS DRAWER! I JUST GAVE YOU THAT SOCK! FIND IT! STOP TALKING! STOP LAUGHING SO LOUD! DO YOU HAVE TO CHEW SO LOUD? GET IN THE CAR! That was all aimed at my kids this morning. The news, which is always a source of annoyance, was even more so this morning. The people, their faces, and their voices were just so stupid and irritating. The commercials were worse. Why does everybody have to be so skinny and wrinke-free? Why does all commercial music sound like it comes from some demented circus? Why does every stinkin’ sitcom commercial have to mention sex when my kids are sitting here eating their Cheerios? Why is the entire television industry out to annoy me? What did I ever do to them?
In short, drugs bring out the worst in me. That, along with an addictive personality, is why I have never had more than an occassional drink. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to take the medication. My mouth is killing me. Hopefully it’ll be better soon and I can quit. I really don’t feel like alienating my kids, offending my preacher/father-in-law or his wife, or being divorced by my husband. Believe me, I wouldn’t blame him one bit.
Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the (in)coherency of this post. It’s a rambling, uninteresting mess, but it’s just the drugs talking. This time.