I was lost. My computer was stuck on the login screen and the password wouldn’t work. I knew it was correct and the problem was probably that the password had been entered incorrectly in the first place. I tried numerous typo-versions to no avail. The only option was tech support. The man answered and I thought, “Great.” He was Indian.
Now I know the outsourced cliché. Amazingly, this was my first experience. Wow. I waited 15 minutes while he tried to pull up my account information. Every 30-45 seconds he said the following four phrases: “I’m so sorry about the delay. I appreciate your patience. Give me approximately two more minutes. It is my pleasure to serve you today.” Then, he says, “Have you ever called before?” No. “Oh, I apologize for the delay but please wait two minutes while I get an account set up for you.” I’m no genius, but shouldn’t that have been the first question?
Then it truly got bad. I had to give him my e-mail address–one letter at a time, three times, because apparently I don’t enunciate very clearly. By the third time I sounded like an automated recording. Then came time for the serial number. Unfortunately, ours contained the combination of 5V9. Southerners have a grudge against the long i sound, so that five and nine are almost indistinguishable, especially when conversing from the other side of the globe. By the third time he had the 5 and 9 straight, but kept asking, “Z as in zulu or B as in bravo?” V. V. V. V as in VIC-TO-RY. I’d forgotten the proper phonetic alphabet, but I was close. V as in victor. Who would be the victor here?
Finally I got to explain my problem. And he laughed at me. He was under the impression that I made up a password today and forgot it TODAY when I tried to enter it. Not true. But I shudder to think if I’d tried to explain. “Did you try any troubleshooting tips to fix this problem?” I didn’t know what to do. Another laugh. He tells me what to do and gives me strict instructions to not touch anything until someone can lead me through it. I was beginning to feel a little insulted. I think he was too. I repeated a number back to him because I thought he said it wrong and he said, “That’s what I said.” Sorry, but you didn’t hear me getting smart when I had to repeat everything four or five times.
But, the misunderstandings between Southerner and Indian came to a successful conclusion. The computer works, and he ended the conversation with, ” I appreciate your patience and it was a pleasure to serve you today.” I think he really meant it…
Lost In Translation:
- Me: T42I
- Him: 5? 9? Y?
- Me: No. I, as in ICE CREAM.
- Him: Oh. I, as in INDIA.