Anybody watch the Super Bowl last night? Anybody see the National Anthem being butchered yet again, the crappy half-time show, and the lackluster sex-heavy commercials?
I knew “The Star-Spangled Banner” was going to be awful. How could it not be with Christina Aguilera singing it? She alternates between yelling, moaning, and caterwauling. She is also a pain to watch. Despite my low expectations, she managed to disappoint even further. She left out an entire line and tried to compensate by combining two lines. “What so proudly we watched.” Yeah. I was watching, and I was anything but proud.
The half-time show was typical fall-out material of the “wardrobe malfunction” of 2004. Since then, we’ve been subjected to Prince, The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, The Who, Tom Petty, and Bruce Springsteen. At least they managed to find someone who was actually relevant in this century. It WAS very bright and well-lit, which was good since it distracted from the horrible vocals. Seriously, I heard Fergie on the radio this morning without the hype and it was worse than I remembered. It wasn’t all bad. Usher can dance and Slash is still Slash.
The commercials are usually the biggest attraction. I had such high hopes. Despite the $2.5-$3 million for 30 seconds price tag, most of the ads were just cheap. No new ideas=sex, crotch shots, and more sex. I had to run damage control a few times since my five kids were watching with us. “I wanna sleep with her. I wanna sleep with her” (don’t know what it was for) stands out in my mind. Followed by Kim Kardashian hocking those ridiculous Skechers. At least PETA’s vegetable ads were nixed. GoDaddy.com changed it up a bit. Joan Rivers was a stroke of genius. I was disappointed in the eTrade and Snickers commercial. Roseanne and Richard Lewis are a poor substitute for Betty White. They’re quite possibly two of the most annoying comedians ever and not the least bit endearing.
There were some good commercials, of course. Doritos finger sucker was gross but great. The Darth Vader car commercial was precious. The nursing home Chevy Cruze was funny as was the Audi commercial featuring the smooth stylings of Kenny G. I really liked the NFL’s homage to television (Seinfeld, 90210, ALF, Happy Days, etc.). My favorite might have been the “House” spoof of the classic Mean Joe Green spot. To be fair, I was in the kitchen a lot in the beginning, so maybe I missed something. If not, what a disappointment.
Was it really that bad or am I getting old? Has parenthood made me a repressed and reactionary bore?
What do you think? Which commercials do you find more effective–funny or sexy? Were the ads too sex heavy? What were your favorite commercials? Do I ask too many questions?
“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.” ~Stephen Leacock