Daily Foglifter: An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
In an effort to avoid the awkward and trying time that is middle school, my husband and I decided that it would be best to home school our sixth grade son. So we enrolled in the program, got the materials, downloaded the necessary software, and dug right in. Well, we started scratching in the dirt anyway.
A typical morning would go something like this:
- 8:00 am–Tell Aidan to get up when I get Anna out of bed to change her diaper, feed her, and find something to occupy her time while I make my coffee.
- 8:30 am–Get Anna out of the bathroom and tell Aidan to get up while I remove the toilet paper, sippy cup, and toothbrush from the toilet.
- 9:00-10:30 am–Yell at Aidan every 15 minutes to get up while I clean the coffee grounds Anna got out of the garbage can off the floor, reshelve every book she flung off the bookshelf, re-fold all the laundry she removed from the laundry basket, and chase her down to get the cat food she got from the bag out of her mouth. At least she took care of her own snack.
- 10:45 am–Drag Aidan out of the bed by his feet or his head (whichever happens to be hanging off the bed) and sit him in front of the computer to get started on school.
- 10:45-12:00pm–Get some laundry and dishes done while chasing Anna around the house, cleaning up the DVDs she threw on the floor, sopping up the coffee she spilled on the carpet (suddenly she’s tall enough to reach the tabletop), and periodically remove the perfectly sized choking hazards she’s found and put in her mouth. All this is done while Aidan makes the sound that only pre-teens and teenagers can make. The groan/sigh that says, “This is stupid. I’m bored. I’m a pain in the butt.” It’s perfectly tuned to set off explosions in a mom’s head.
- 12:00-1:00 pm– Feed Anna her lunch, attempt to rock her to sleep while she does what all babies do–cry, lay her head down, close her eyes, jerk her eyes open and her head up, go rigid or flop (depending on her mood) and make that horrible grunting noise that says, “I’m not going to sleep. I’m frustrated. You are going to pay.” The sigh/groan from Aidan continues.
- 1:00 pm–I react. Anna goes in the bed to scream or sleep as she will. Aidan gets threatened with all manner of horrible things. It’s not until I threaten to tell his daddy that anything gets done. The sheer injustice of this makes me want to throw him through a wall.
- 1:00-3:00 pm–Anna is asleep. Aidan completes his work and is in his room playing his DS or reading and I’m trying to will myself to do something–anything.
- 4:00 pm— Anna wakes up and the other three kids get home from school and Act II begins.
I don’t have the time to go into a day when I have to go to the grocery store, one of the other kids is home sick, or I have a doctor’s appointment. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Well, long story short (all together now! TOO LATE), this has gone on for 5 months and now it’s over. Aidan is going back to school this week. It’s not only because I fear for his safety if he stays home with me, but also because he really misses his friends. So, that’s it. I surrender.
I’m happy with the decision, but I am feeling a little guilty. I saw things working out differently. I saw a happy kid. I saw a confident mom/teacher. I saw a lot of things.
But sometimes, a mom’s eye is bigger than her brain.